I spent all morning trying to impress people. This is not a task I enjoy. More of a chore really. My new job is contingent on enrollment into an education program that would eventually lead to a teaching certificate. So this morning I danced around the university campus, did the charleston with a few secretaries and finally was able to coerce the graduate liaison into a full on waltz. All of this while it was raining and 45 degrees. Filling out applications and handing over resumes seems so old fashion and quite frankly a bit absurd. I have a new theory that might, in a moment of glory, reduce these forms to nothing more than spit ball ammunition, or in my case, the dogs urinal. No more interviews, no more applications that require you to recall the exact date and time your last boss told you to kiss off, no more middle initials, no more maiden names, no more present and yes permanent address(does this mean I can never relocate). Specifying position desired? I just want to tell'em to figure it out, I want the one that has the most pay,compensation, time off, single women in the department, retirement at 32, and possibly a position that is stationed in the Caribbean. Oh, and the joy of listing educational history/background. High school and college and yes, they want street addresses. As if that info is in the palm pilot that i do not have. Yippee, references too. I just want to say, shake my hand, listen to my voice and look me in the eye (kinda like the old west i guess) Alright I will quit this banter and give you my alternative to all of this.
Interview = Watching "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou" together
Application = Sharing a beer
Resume = not sure, perhaps a thumb wrestling match would suffice
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